Involuntary Servitude

Do you know what “Involuntary Servitude” means?

It’s one of those terms that doesn’t get used much these days.  It used to be fairly common. We mostly know it as “Slavery”.  From  TheFreeDictionary.com, it is defined as “the condition of an individual who works for another individual against his or her will as a result of force, coercion, or imprisonment, regardless of whether the individual is paid for the labor.”

I am only recently becoming aware of what a common condition this and this is entirely because I am at risk of becoming a slave myself.  Like thousands, tens of thousands, of other men (mostly).

I know all the situations are different. I’ve heard and read the stories, I can only speak to mine.

My story is a pretty common one.  Long time wife decides that she likes someone else better, has an affair, leaves husband to live with new guy, demands that first husband pay her for the rest of her life.  Sure, I’m not perfect, our marriage was not perfect. However; it was pretty stinking great – for some twenty-three years.

These ex-spouses figure out the legal system pretty quick and begin claiming illness, mental distress, etc… In short, they simply do not want to work.  Mine doesn’t want me but she wants me to pay her for the rest of her life (literally).  In many cases, the legal system is happy to award half of one spouses net income to the other.  To make it even more interesting, my ex does have some health issues.  For some reason, that is my fault.  The legal system pins the burden of paying for these health issues and supporting this person squarely on me.  Why?  I have no idea.  If anything, the sickness is hereditary (in my case) and her parents should have to pay, right?  That’s makes just as much sense to me as holding me responsible.

I am NOT talking about child support here.  That is an entirely different subject.  This is alimony, spousal support, interim division, whatever you want to call it – Involuntary Servitude.

Yeah-yeah… I’ve heard all the arguments.  In my case, my ex did not work to put me thru college or any of that nonsense. I worked my tail off for years and years to develop a career and provide for my family. She wanted to have children and stay home to raise them. Yes, we had that discussion and that was her choice.  We even discussed the fact that I would have to work hard and long to support the family on a single income.  That was all understood. After the kids were school age, she spent many years playing around in the Mrs. Pageant systems – even won a few, volunteering with her favorite organizations, playing with home businesses, and generally doing whatever she wanted to do.  That was ok, she was a great friend, wife, and mother.  I was loyal and honored to call her my best friend and partner.

That is all now haunting me.

My advice to people that want to get married?  Don’t.  I know, that doesn’t work morally – at least not for me.  I guess the best advice that I have is to get a prenuptial agreement. For most young couples starting out, that makes no sense as you have nothing. Do it anyway. The second piece of advice goes against my idea of a family – make sure BOTH of you work and build careers.

Back to my point, why is it servitude?  It is servitude because I am under threat of imprisonment if I do not pay.

I can imagine a few years of “spousal support” for one to get on their feet (get some training and get a job).  Certainly depends on the situation but in most, this makes sense. What is a few years – three years, four years, I dunno.  I do know that it is not THIRTY years and most certainly NOT forty percent of my net income. I guess this is typical today – someone else is responsible and gimme, gimme, gimme…

The US Legal System SUCKS!