Rude and Confrontational

I am a very bad person.

I post a fair amount on a couple of RV forums where I genuinely try to help other RV’ers. Apparently the forum moderators of at least one of these forums are part of the new era – the nobody is wrong, everyone is right, nobody should have their feelings hurt, everybody is a participant, and everyone gets a trophy attitude.

In this particular case, the iRV2 forum moderators decided that me telling another fellow that modern solar systems are not fragile (in response to his statement justifying running a generator all night long – annoying everyone around him) was enough to get a moderator edit and warning.

This thread was in the “Boondocking” section of the forum and was titled “Boondocking on solar, with a residential fridge” so we are very clearly talking about a boondocking scenario.

Here is the inaccurate post:

Notice everyone says they still use a generator or shore power. What’s the point of spending thousands on both solar and generator? Solar is still too expensive in my opinion. You have to replace batteries and parts are fragile. I’ll keep spending $5 a night to run my generator until solar is cost effective and reliable enough.

I wish I had saved my response to the above so ya’ll could see how benign it was. Basically I said:

Not everyone. It appears your facts about solar are dated, it may be time to update them. Modern solar is inexpensive and very reliable. Batteries last many years (5-7) when they are cared for. The good news is that you probably get large areas all to yourself with that approach.

So, the moderator edits my post and sends this to me:

You quoted one member repeatedly and systematically attacked their posts. These personal, on-on-one exchanges are prohibited for the exchange and for baiting a negative response.
Please avoid future CR violations at the risk of your membership privileges.

Let’s see. Someone posts something that is inaccurate. I tell them that their information is dated and inaccurate. I get edited and warned. The people on the gasser vs. diesel threads are jerks to one another and nothing happens. Strange.

I then posted this comment on the same thread – which really made matters worse.

Apparently accurate, real world information is no longer desired here as the moderators delete it. I think we can still post a bunch of inaccurate opinion, hearsay, and dated information though.

Then I am REALLY, REALLY bad and get this warning:

Community Rules Violation – warning

Hi. You are welcome to appeal any action that one of our staff takes against you , however our Community Rules do not permit discussing them in the open forum. Please refrain from this style of posting.

Pretty amazing to me.

It probably hurt the feelings of the poor guy that was wrong – we cannot have that ya know!

So, I attempt to start the “appeal” and all the sudden neither moderator will respond.

I searched the “community rules”, FAQ’s, and did a site search. Nothing.

Smells pretty fishy to me.

After sending private emails to the moderators, I finally got an “appeal” started. The very next day, I received this:

Hi JD,

Based on your request for an appeal, the site team has reviewed the post and the action that was taken.

We have agreed that the post was rude and confrontational and the edit was warranted.

Thanks for understanding.

That’s an interesting appeal process. No questions to me, just a result. So, I guess I am rude and confrontational (since I wrote the post and clearly the post was rude and confrontational – yes, I understand the tricks one can play with the English language). I wonder what the campers parked near the fellow that runs his generator at night think of him??

Rude?? Perhaps.

I sat on this a few days and was still in a state of shock so I asked a moderator to send me what I originally posted to cause all the problems. Here is what they send me:

You posted this;

—Quote—
The good news is that you probably get large areas all to yourself with that approach.
—End Quote—

I’m even more shocked now. Is that really “rude and confrontational???”

In my mind, it is a simple fact of boondocking. If you run your generator at night, people really dislike you and tend to move as far from you as possible. Nonetheless; I looked up the meaning of “rude” and “confrontational” and I’m just not seeing it. Perhaps I am too close or just stupid…. or, even rude and confrontational in which case I would be unlikely to see it for what it is.

So, I sent this question to the iRV2 moderators:

Wow – really confused now. How is that “rude and confrontational”??? It is simply the truth – someone running their generator at night likely repels other campers – that certainly happens everywhere I camp (and I am a full-timer so have a bit of experience). What is so wrong with this statement??

I received this reply:

That was the site team’s decision……twice.

Very helpful information. Thank you.

Clearly I have exceeded my welcome and the moderators have no real interest in answering my questions. I may be pretty dull but not totally without a brain!

The question I keep asking myself is “Why does this bug me so much??”

I try REALLY hard to live by the belief that the only thing under my control is my reaction to things. I can choose how to react and that will dictate the flow of my life. A negative reaction to things will make for a less enjoyable life (more frustration, unhappiness, etc.) and a positive reaction will result in a more enjoyable life. This is a classic case of a thing that should be forgotten as soon as it starts and zero time spent thinking about it as that time is all negative. The problem though, is that I am really annoyed by this – maybe because it is such a personal attack. I suppose if I wasn’t actually trying to be helpful to people, it wouldn’t bug me. Kind of like the case where you try to help someone move some furniture and a wall accidentally gets scratched and they end up making a huge deal out of it, blaming you, and calling you a bunch of names.

Thanks iRV2 – I’ll try to remember never to try and help anyone again.

Being a forum moderator myself, I think I understand what these folks are attempting to accomplish.  The “Be Nice” motto is a nice goal.  However; I think they’ve taken it too far and are picking on the wrong people. “Nice” is highly subjective, as is “rude.”

Of course, by this point, I was hurt, angry, and ready to be confrontational.  So, I modified my signature to include that information so people would know who they were dealing with.

JD (rude and confrontational)

Interestingly, this was found to be offensive and I recieved yet another message from the moderators.

You have received an infraction at iRV2 Forums.

Reason: Community Rules Violation
——-
Your signature had the term “Rude & Confrontational” removed.

That is inappropriate for this Forum, in which the #1 Rule is to “Be Nice.”
And, while you may think this is humorous, it was derived from a warning issued to you by a site Administrator and therefore is mocking to the staff.

Further Community Rule violations will impact your membership privileges.

iRV2 Site Staff

Isn’t that interesting.

They say that everyone must “Be Nice.” and then call me rude and confrontational like it is some sort of compliment.  Then, when I attempt to alert people that what I write doesn’t seem to settle too well with at least some of the group, they accuse me of mocking the staff.  Clearly, this is a group of people that I have no business being around.

I have learned my lesson.  Now let’s see how long I can remember it!